Another month has gone by and I am still here! Damien, Jeane and Kay have been here. They help me with gas and food and even cash to see me thru. God has done things in my life since August that seems impossible for me. I have had to use credit cards to buy the necessities of life and pay bills with. God made sure they were available for me. I was in such a panic last week and God sent me a notice that only God can do as it had David's name on it with this address and it was not forwarded to him!! Can you imagine such an important piece of paper and I got it? It is an uphill battle but God has this. He sent people to me to pray for me - ladies to encourage me, and prayer warriors. I have my girls who are always there for me - my sisters who understand my pain and feeling of betrayal. I am still fearful sometimes but GOD takes care of that everyday.Well this is long but you are now up to date. We look forward to Thanksgiving and getting our decorations up and a new year coming. Thank you for your ten minutes reading this book of mine.
Things are going well almost. Jeane, Damien and Kay are all working. Jeane still works as a nanny but has application in for a job at a clinic which she will most certainly get if that is what God wants for her. Damien started working for one man rebuilding a shed for him and it has developed into other jobs with other people. Kay has started working at Bo-Jangles and is happy there. Our truck died and praise God HE sent us to a used car lot where they had a much better truck very cheap that I could get with one of the credit cards!! After her car wreak several months ago, Jeane is still waiting for her settlement check from the insurance to get something else to drive. Right now God has blessed her with wonderful bosses that let her use their truck until she gets her own!! Kay is a senior and going t school 1/2 days now.
Laughter in this house is on the rise! We talk and discuss things. There is no screaming at each other - no foul names called to each other - we support each other even when things go wrong, we encourage each other instead of discouraging them. We work together to get things done that couldn't be done before because we were always told " you are too stupid to do that "- or "you cant do it right". Things are getting done. We take turns cooking and trying new things or old things again for the first time in years. Oh how nice it is to be able to use onions again! How great to have a glass of wine or a beer with dinner. We had broccoli soup (home made) that was so very good. Everything taste so much better. Cooking for 4 instead of five saves us more money than we thought! We can buy store brand on certain things we were not able to before. There is less waste! We could not believe the difference! If we want we can have steak once a week and it won't hurt our food budget cause we have but 4 instead of 5 and Bi-Lo's have great meat- cut rate prices!
The top of the greenhouse has torn off and with the children all 3 working it will be a job getting things cleaned up. They manage to keep the yard raked and mowed and the bushes trimmed. IN our spare time we are trying to get work done inside the house. We laid carpet down in the family room was in pieces cause we had some in the shed but we can work around the seams LOL Since moving my sewing into my computer/sewing room there is much more room. I am leaving my computer in this room cause the kids think if I put it in my rom they will never see me! I am still arranging and putting things away in my craft room and I look forward to making things for Christmas. (we got the mess cleaned up around and in the greenhouse.)
I have had so many people ask me how things are and how are they going that I am answering here. When we had my emergency hearing for my protection order, (which I received) he came to get what the court ordered ( his toiletries and medicines) I gave him clothes, computer, camera stuff, etc. Boxes and boxes, which he expected to take, I but was not ordered by the court, At the temp order hearing (where he lied thru most things) I gave him truck load more. At this hearing he had an attorney and he said they wanted the Protection Order thrown out ( it was an emergency order and he had only 24 hours to appear) because he did not have an attorney. Well neither did I only a representative from the abuse center. He came with pages he tried to get in the record BUT never said the abuse was a lie, never deny my petition. He wanted to accuse Damien of the cause for the hearing and the Judge stopped him and gave me the order and he was told not to sell stocks. At the temp hearing, He said to the court I did not give him all his medicines. Want to know which ones? Lysine, potassium, his blood pressure cup, and vitamins. All over the counter stuff not medicines at all. I have been more than accommodating to him even though he has stolen money from our accounts and lied every chance. I got a notice that the house payment is two months in arrears but sent over the Order where he is to catch everything thing up. Also got a notice from his attorney that I had five days to catch the mortgage up but he catch force me because the judge told him to. Also told him to send my attorney the document showing how much he took out and why. We have two contempt charges against him now. David wants a deposition and copies of things he knows I no longer have. Hearing is set for after the new year. He is being nasty and mean. His heart is as hard and evil as ever and I have seen him when he divorced his other wives and he is worse. I do not want a hard heart against him but it is hard not to harden your heart from pain.
I have boxes everywhere with David's things he needs to get out! Including this king bed taking up so much room in my bedroom. The house looks like a mess with these in almost every room. I am so wanting his things gone so we can bless this house properly. I still look for David walking into a room. Divorce is like a death no matter how bad the marriage was. It is still hard to think how on a Sunday he was begging me to work on our marriage (after Thursday he wished we were all dead) and on Monday he was saying how he hated me (again) and wanted us on the streets without home or anything and die in the gutters. It is difficult to have been his "soul mate" one day and the next the devil incarnate. I am not going to say things were or are easy or that I get fearful, but God shows me everyday He is there before me and behind me.
October 12, 2019
Well its been a while since I have been here. SO many things have happened. The most tramatic I would venture to say is my upcoming divorce. It still seems unreal after 28 years married and 43 years of being friends and being there for each other. It has been a rocky road. It has taken me this long to come out from under the shame of being in an abusive relationship because I counseled others in Domestic Violence. DV is not just putting your hand on another person, it is demeaning, humiliating, mental and emotional abuse. When David would walk into my office and be with some of my clients I remember him saying how can they do that? Don't they know that is abuse? all the while my family and friends would say the same thing about him
February 15th 2019
I haven't even started the exhausting week yet , that will be next week. I have to go to Atlanta for Davids appointments Monday Wednesday and Thursday. We are praying for a room at Mason House but not sure if we will get it.
I have been doing a lot of journaling and reading this week in my Bible. I love being in my little room alone with God and just try to clear my mind and listen to Him and talk to Him without 5 million things entering my mind. I find that the only way I can do that is to begin praying that God will hold captive my brain and let it only focus on Him and prayer. I have been journaling a lot and printing things from the internet and cards etc. I bought little cards to send out that I need to color. I went thru today and picked out the most simple ones as I am not great staying the lines since old age hit. I have made a promise to myself that I will send someone a card each day and I pray that I can carry this forward. I know how great it is to get cards from different people each month and I want to make someone smile at lest a little and let them know God loves them and I pray for them! Just a simple thing I know but if you saw me coloring you would know the task I undertake LOL
Church has been great for me again. I have to stay on guard everyday so that I keep that joy all through the week. I hold to the promise that God will give me a new heart. I sometimes feel the old one wanting to creep in or being to lose my patience with things outside of my control (I am a control freak) But I keep my mouth shut and walk on. I am even considering unblocking my baby sister. Haven't talked to her in 5 years which isn't anything to my other sister that I avoided for 20 years. We are now best friends and I love her so much. It took all those years and prayers from our parents for us to reconcile to each other. We are much alike except she is much more outward than I am. Always was I was kinda quiet till I hit this old age and ZAP I will come after you if you hurt one of mine.
Well I pray for you all and hope you pray for me. My family is a little thread bare but there is love..
February 13, 2019
Things are moving fast now in my life since I returned to Jesus like I always wanted to be. 
as I searched and studied God answered one of my questions about prayer that I have had since a child. It was about prayer and whats the point in praying? If God always knows the end of the story and it can not be changed why pray ?? Here I found a way to explain it and I understood why I must pray! "God doesn't intend prayer to change the things outside ourselves, but rather to change us on the inside. God ordains the end result and God ordains my prayer as the means of getting to that end result." So although God knows the end result He also knows if I prayed to Him for that result. Does that make sense to you. It could be that our prayers created that result, God needed our prayers to Him to bring us closer to Him, in understanding and to honor.
I have grabbed a new verse to be my verse, Ezekiel 36:26 " (yes several people were stunned cause my lifelong verse was
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.)
I claim this because my heart was turning cold and stone. I was not looking for this verse when I was directed to it. I was going to another verse and got the address wrong! God does that to me a lot now. Jeane and I read and study together at night and it feels so good. We don't have ti right yet but we give it a great start! We have also said each night we will ask God to give us a name to send a card to. It won't be anything grand just a card to let you know we love you and are thinking about you. So I will hopefully add more this evening. I am not on the computer as much as I was, basically to check my mail, facebook with family, and pay bills. I have given up on watching tv for hours and hours and spend time in my little space. It is small but I love it in there! Love you all
February 10th
Good afternoon all!! I was having such a hard time with my heart lately, not my physical heart but my spiritual heart. I could feel it becoming cold and hard. I did not want to mention it to God because He knew and I was afraid that I would have to do something about it and I really didn't want to. How many can relate to that!? My children know that there are three words not EVER permitted in my home NEVER EVER... (because using Gods name in vain and talking vulgar) and those words are? I hate you Even through all the pain in my past I never once uttered those words (except to my mother's step father who hurt my beloved grandmother) to anyone who hurt me. But I did a couple of weeks ago to the man most important in my life, my husband. I walked down stairs and Kay came and hugged me and I said please I am sorry I didnt mean that not ever. She told me we know its ok, it is not your heart. But the problem was it was what the devil wanted and my heart was not right with God. So it was been eating and eating at me soul for the past week. And those who care for me at church I would walk around not talking to anyone. I think inside I Was so ashamed of the person I became.
. 
But then something happened. God directed me to a few sites and it got me opening my Bible again. (no I wasn't and my prayer life seemed to be for everyone else's problems and just skirted over mine) I found that God led me to different verses. It was funny in that way because I wanted to go to one place and God let me forget what I wanted and show me what He wanted. One place I have been at for two weeks is Psalms 120: 1-7
In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me.
2 Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue.
3 What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue?
4 Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper.
5 Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar!
6 My soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace.
7 I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war.
I was reading that as its written - deliver me, my soul, from those people against me. Those who want to hurt me - those who lie about me...its all their fault God please deliver me!!
deliver me from my lying lips, my deceitful tongue, I am fighting against me, I speak words like sharp arrows, God is for peace when I am at war.
My heart began to melt, my soul began to make different things my priorities in my life. I now get up and go to my pantry ( my quiet spot) and be with God and my word. I go there after dinner to get back to my word, and prayers. I have a long way to go but God goes before me. He knows what I need ever if I don't or even if I do and refuse! Where did God lead me? To the War Binder group, the Bible Journaling group and the Bible cafe. We need to be and talk with others in like minds. Not just Sunday. This week as I walked into church I felt joy being there. I stopped people to say hello, love you, pray for me.
When God is melting your heart for Him so many things changes. I am still headstrong and bull headed but I know God is working on that!
February 2, 2019
Life is sometimes very hard no matter what you do or the prayers in your heart. Jeane and I were working on my War Binder her's looks so good! Mine is still a work in progress. I have to use others ideas cause mine are all used up I think. God keeps putting things in my eye's view for me to study on and read. Jeane gave me several of her Bible truths for me to hold on to. It was so good to sit down with her and journal and read. My quiet time is sharing not only with God but with Jeane. I think we all need a prayer partner and someone to walk the journey with us.
January 30, 2019
Evening look 3 days in a row! Things here are about normal for us. I have started back to physical therapy and have gained more motion in my knee thru the dry needle techniques. I did more in my binder this evening and spent time just with myself for a while on my little table in the pantry. That is what I made it for and it was time well spent. I talked with my sister for a while and that is always good.
We missed church this evening which is not what I wanted but things just got started too late before we realized it, it was past time to go.
I am praying more now, and I keep waiting for God to answer me and I guess I am am lacking the faith to believe that He will. Ever felt that you know God has given you more than you can handle? That your faith is less than it should be and you pray for more? That is where I am tonight. So pray for me, for each other and ask for God to show us where we need to be and what we need to do.
Thank you for keeping up with my blog page!
January 29, 2019
Hi there!! How is everyone doing? Things here are about the same. Updated my prayer wall and did some more on my WarBinder. Studied more in the book of Psalms today - read it thru once and now going back thru the commentary slower line by line.
January 28,2019
Good evening,
been a hard month already. Although David has good news about his health seems things are still hard to get around. Since taking my Trulicity my blood sugars are down and I have to cut back on my insulin. It has also taken my appetite away which is a good thing. But around 9 I want something so it is usually instant oatmeal to the rescue! My blood sugars are still very low in the mornings. I am working on my WAR BINDER and I have lots more energy with my sugar levels so low. (well before I have 300-400 now I get 78- 200) Its a good thing. Our pastor challenged us to read and study our Bible this week. I decided upon Ps. 120.
"
Psalm 120 King James Version (KJV)
120 In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me.
2 Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue.
3 What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue?
4 Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper.
5 Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar!
6 My soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace.
7 I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war."
What is yours?
I am using a commentary by Charles Spurgeon: https://www.christianity.com/bible/commentary.php?com=spur&b=19&c=120
My first study in my war binder
I am using a commentary by Charles Spurgeon: https://www.christianity.com/bible/commentary.php?com=spur&b=19&c=120
My first study in my war binder
January 24 2019
Well I am starting this new year off with a promise to myself and God I would do better in the prayer and meditation department. I mean quiet alone time not just speaking to Him all day long but taking time to listen. I found a group on line that I am following that maybe y'all would like to look into.I am gathering my binder together. I am getting a slow start but working on it! I have found so many books that I keep saying I am reading but never get to. AND journals that I write once in and then never come back. I pray I will get better organized and committed! Here is what the group is about"Your request will not be approved if you do not answer the questions required for approval. Also, if you would like to invite others to the group, please do so by sending them a link to the group. If you invite them through the group they will not be able to answer the approval questions and therefore will not be approved to join the group.****
Are you on a journey of faith submitting your soul and life to God? Through His love, we are so excited to be inspired by all of you! We're all new here, no matter where you are on your journey, you're wanted, needed and absolutely LOVED!💌💕
This group's purpose is to show you how to create your own War Binder for prayer and studying. Share pics of your creation, ask questions, share resources, and encourage each other.
We ask that you PLEASE READ THE PINNED POST after you join the group and type AGREE in the comments. This will give you more information on the group and direct you to our sister groups for prayer requests and pen pals! This group is strictly for sharing information and resources for creating a War Binder and ways to dig deeper into studies and prayer.
The concept and this group were put together by Rachel Puckett, and you can read her testimony for how this came about here:"
http://warbinder.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-beginning.html
January 23, 2019
Today my PC died.
He was 19 and my pet and my friend. He followed me and was very loyal.
I am working on a journal page for my war journal although I am not so good at it. Most people have a 5.5x8.5 binder time is 8x10 I need lots of room =) I will post pics of it as I get started but today I think I am going to mope and cry and stay in bed.
January 21, 2019
SO I have just started taking a new diabetes drug. Trulicity. Not only is it keeping my sugars down but my appetite also. I am eating 1/3 portions than I used to. I seemed to have a little bit more energy and sleep better. I am still working on my binder -- will post more when I get it together.
January 2019
Can you believe it has been almost 2 years since I used my blog!! I guess I have been so busy that I completely forgot it.
How has life been in these two years. Many new health problems have come to plague us. David has gone from no illness to being tied down to medicines and me it seems the same ole same old. Just new surgeries but same old problem
Damien and Jeane still live with us. Damien's health is also problematic. He has had several surgeries on his eyes and is in fear of losing his sight completely in one eye. His back is still troublesome and Jeane has health problems now. Kay is 16 now and growing up so fast.
My daughters are doing great! Zennie is still teaching and has a grandchild, Joey to love on. Buffy has married to a wonderful thoughtful man
Zennie has a grandchild of her own Joey he is the blonde like his mother (Courtney) and Jace is the dark headed child that has his mothers eyes =)(Lauren)
Johnathon and Arya are growing up so fast
